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It chronicled in excruciating detail how she was developing, and how she started exploring her body, and finding out what she liked sexually. I dont know why I continued to read it, but I was just too excited to stop myself. She wrote about some things shed read online, stories of men and women dominating little girls. She read even more online, and found stories of dads who dominate their own daughters. According to the diary, the stories she read brought her to her most powerful orgasms she had ever experienced. And as I read, I found myself reliving my own sexual experiences, comparing them to the sensations Marci wrote about. Even as my fingers roved over my clit, finding myself wetter than I had been in years, I knew I had never experienced anything nearly as intense. I came reading the diary of our fifteen year old daughter, with more passion than anything I had ever felt before. In that moment, as I climaxed, I succumbed to my own sexual reawakening. Before that moment, I had. Am I still a woman?Compounding my doubts, was hubby's declining libido, from twice a week to once or less, his saddle lacking its firm horn. Uninterested in foreplay, it switched from booty to duty call. He surreptitiously viewed porn to prep himself for his duty.Can I blame him? Who wants an old woman?On the plus side, my face expressed fewer wrinkles than the calendar said it should. I didn’t wrinkle up as Mom did. Those who hadn’t seen me for a while remarked about my fountain of youth appearance. I returned their compliments. Theirs’s had an element of truth versus blatant deceptions. Seeing their decay still reflected on my ageing. To camouflage menopause, personal upkeep was doubled down. My attire remained selected for attention, but conservatively. I went to the hairdresser weekly and there was not a sniff of exposed grey hair. Makeup, used sparingly, was my friend. Passing men’s second glances confirmed, I remained a woman. My new mantra was. I don’t need eggs; it means I’m.
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